Age 12: Leo is such a heartthrob!

Age 26: Leo was so good in The Departed.

12: Jack is so adventurous and romantic!

26: Jack should really get a job.

12: What does Rose mean when she says that woman is “in a delicate condition?”

26: Oh.

12: Cal is a jerk!

26: Cal is a stereotypical member of the 1%.

12: Jack is so in love with Rose!

26: Jack has got some serious game.

12: OMG! They showed Kate Winslet’s boobs!

26: Kate Winslet really does have an amazing set of boobs.

12: Rose and Jack are so in love!

26: Rose and Jack have only known each other for 24 HOURS!

12: Cal’s footman is so mean!

26: Cal’s footman is a certified psychopath. They should make an entire movie about him.

12: Jack would never have stolen the necklace, Rose. You have to believe him!

26: I wouldn’t have trusted him either, Rose. BECAUSE YOU’VE ONLY KNOWN HIM 24 HOURS!

12: Wow! They steamed up that car! How romantic!

26: The physics of that just doesn’t make any sense.

12: Watching this ship sink is so scary!

26: Watching this ship sink in 3D is f***ing terrifying.

12: It’s so sad when Jack dies! I’m crying my eyes out!

26: It’s so sad when the old couple, and the mother with her children, and the captain, and Mr. Andrews die. I’m crying my eyes out!

12: “My Heart Will Go On” is my FAVORITE song!

26: “My Heart Will Go On” is a great song to sing at karaoke.

12: Why didn’t get Jack get on the board? There was so much room!

26: Why didn’t get Jack get on the board? There was so much room!

12: If only Jack had lived, he and Rose could have gotten married!

26: If Jack had lived, he would have gotten fed up with Rose’s helplessness in about six months.

12: Old Rose threw the necklace into the water so it could be with Jack!

26: Old Rose just threw her granddaughter’s inheritance into the ocean for no reason.

12: This is SUCH a good movie!

26: This is SUCH a good movie!